At about 35 weeks pregnant I was diagnosed with intrahepatic cholestasis of pregnancy (ICP). The main symptom for the mom is horrible itching without any rash, that’s worst at night and usually worst on the soles of the feet and palms of the hands. (If you’re having symptoms like this, please go to www.itchymoms.com for info and talk to your doc!! It’s rare, but not incredibly so.) The main issue for the baby however is a stillbirth rate that climbs to 10% in untreated cases. The treatment is a med that more or less didn’t work for me (I think because we had caught it too late, plus I had a very severe and sudden onset), and early delivery of the baby. Hence I had a repeat cesarean at just past 37 weeks. I had really been hoping for a VBAC this time, so the c/s was a disappointment. But she needed to come out and that was the safest way to do so.

The c/s itself was kind of weird this time. I was really dizzy starting the minute he started working on the spinal injection, and then twice during surgery I got pretty woozy. Once it was because my heartrate had shot up, and improved after he gave me something (no clue what) to adjust it. The second time my heart rate plumetted, and he again gave me something to fix it and I was fine. Possibly the weirdest part though was that the screen they used this time was really low, so John was able to actually watch the whole surgery. Plus I could actually see it all in the reflection in the massive lights overhead. It was kind of cool, but I definitely had to look away a few times! I got nervous when they started taking Willow out, since Eleanor had come out blue and silent. But Willow came out pink and screaming and got Apgars of 9 and 9!

She came in at 2398 grams at birth, which is just shy of the cut off for low birth weight babies, at 2500 grams. Because of that she had to go to the special care nursery for six hours once our 1.5 hour recovery period was done. I had also had GD with this pregnancy, so after our first nursing session in the recovery room (which went well) they checked her blood sugar. It was too low, so she had to have a bit of formula. Fortunately I was able to nurse her once more while she was in the nursery area, and her sugars stayed up, so she was released back to our room after the mandatory six hours were up. She was still having a slight problem regulating her temp, but it wasn’t bad enough to warrant keeping her under the warming lights.

My recovery has been much better this time! I’m already off all pain meds, and have been for a couple days. I’m not back up to speed yet and still have to take it easy, but I’m doing much better than I was at this point last time.

Eleanor has been a very loving older sister, and has been wonderful with Willow. She does get a little too rough at times, and we limit their direct interaction a bit. She’s also requiring a lot of attention, which is understandable. My DH is able to take off about eight weeks from work so between the two of us we’ve been able to manage everything pretty well. I’m finding myself much less overwhelmed and depressed this time around, which is interesting. I would have thought it would be worse with two kids to care for, but I’m just so much more confident as a parent now that a lot of what really bothered me last time is barely fazing me now. It’s nice and I feel like I’m able to truly enjoy Willow’s infancy so much more than I did with Eleanor. And I feel like I’m able to be a better mom to Eleanor than I had anticipated with a baby in the house. I had been really worried about that.

I’m attaching some pics. The first is my last belly pic. Second is of me “meeting” Willow while I was still on the operating table. Third is Willow with gooped-up eyes in the nursery. Fourth is Eleanor and Willow meeting each other for the first time. And fifth is one of Willow at five days old.

So far I’m doing pretty well. If this pregnancy were going exactly like Eleanor’s then I would have lost my mucus plug a few days ago, and would be admitted for preterm labor in a week and two days. I’m hardly having any Braxton Hicks contractions right now though, so I doubt that’s going to happen. I have had a couple bad episodes of them, but have been able to get them under control. For the last few weeks I’ve only been having maybe five to ten per day, which is nothing! I think part of what is working for me this time is the baby is mostly head down, though she’s doing somersaults in there. Eleanor being breech added an extra stress to my body. She was kicking my cervix constantly, and putting a ton of pressure under my ribs.

A new problem has cropped up this pregnancy, though: It appears that I have gestational diabetes (GD). I failed the one hour GTT rather magnificently, with a value of 182. The OB I saw for that appointment (it was for a VBAC consult – otherwise I’ve been seeing midwives) said that if it weren’t for my history of hypoglycemia she would have said to skip the three hour and just go in for diabetes management. With my history she was suspicious, but both of us thought the three hour would probably kill me. Instead she had me go in and talk to the nutritionist and start monitoring, to see if I do indeed have it. So far it looks like I do, sigh. My numbers are good if I very carefully follow the GD diet, but if I go even slightly off then my numbers skyrocket. Grr!

On Thursday/Friday it’ll have been a full week of testing, so I’m supposed to email my values in and they’ll decide where to go from there. I’m hopeful that I’ll at least be able to manage this with diet alone. My fasting (first thing in the morning) numbers have been perfect, so that’s a really good sign that I may not end up needing insulin. From what I’m reading it’s almost impossible to control that number with diet. Having good fasting numbers also apparently lowers your odds a bit of eventually developing type II diabetes, though my risk is still quite a bit higher now.

Darned genetics! I’m fit and healthy and otherwise at low risk for any type of diabetes, but my sister has type I and my mom had GD in at least three of her pregnancies. There’s pretty much nothing more I could have done to prevent this. I know it’s not my fault, but it’s still hard to process that. I think just the language alone – “I failed the one hour GTT” – tends to put the blame on the mother. Maybe I should start saying “my hormones made my body fail the GTT” haha!

As for Eleanor, she’s doing great! She’ll be three in March and is getting huge. She’s shot up to the 75th percentile for height, so she definitely got daddy’s height. She’s very verbal and in my completely unbiased eyes a bright little child. She’s usually happy and seems to enjoy her little life, which is the most important thing at this age I think. She is getting bored with me being pregnant, though, since I’ve been much less active. I don’t know that she completely understand the whole concept of pregnancy, but she does at least seem somewhat excited about having a sister. We’ll see how she reacts when it becomes real!

Otherwise, everything is going well. We’re putting bamboo floors down in the house, and it’s crunch time with Eleanor’s birthday coming up. We’d like to have her new room done so that my parents can stay with us. So far John’s done the whole living room and hallway, and it looks great! I’m really excited to get the whole project done, and also looking forward to getting the girls’ rooms in order. I’m definitely nesting so living in a construction zone is difficult, but it’ll be so worth it in the end!

It took four cycles with Eleanor, then after the chemical in June I thought it would be a while before I’d get pregnant again. Apparently I lucked out, because after just two cycles of trying I got my BFP yesterday morning. : ) I confirmed it with a FRER this morning, and the line showed up at the same time as the control line. Yay!

I’m more cautious than I was with Eleanor, after the chemical, but I do feel like it’s going to stick. With the chemical I had a kind of buzz in the back of my head that I was going to m/c, and even had a dream that I did. This time I’m just having the usual weird pregnant woman dreams, haha! (Not that I’m a weird pg woman – just the dreams.) I’m not getting that feeling that I’m going to lose it, so hopefully this is a healthy little bean.

This one will be due May 10, 2011. I hope to be able to carry it to term, but I am at higher risk for pre-term labor since I had it with Eleanor. I’ll discuss it with my MWs and see what they want to do. I’m crossing my fingers that last time was just a fluke and I don’t get diagnosed with incompetent cervix.

I’m also hoping for a VBAC this time around. Eleanora-bora was breech, so I ended up with a semi-planned c/s (I went into labor two weeks before my scheduled date.) Having had a breech baby I’m at higher risk for another, but I’m not going to worry about that unless it happens.

So far my main symptom seems to be crankiness. My poor hubby! He’s taking it in stride, though. I’m also tired, and my bbs and my back ache. Nothing too bad, just enough to remind me that I’m pg. : )

I made a few “Due in May” blinkies that I’ll put on the graphics page.

Send me sticky vibes!

Eleanor is doing very well. She’s so communicative now, which is great. Instead of everything being a guessing game we can usually just ask her what’s wrong and get an actual answer! She’s also a very smart little person, but who’s child isn’t right? ; )

She still has problems with dairy, and DH’s sister recently found out she has the same issue. We originally thought Eleanor’s sensitivity had come from just my side of the family, and now with it being both I’m a little worried she’ll never completely grow out of it. She did have a spoonful of yogurt the other day with no reaction however, so I’m hopeful she’ll at the very least be able to have an occasional bit of dairy. I’m going to have her try some more yogurt soon.

In other news, we just started TTC #2, so we’ll see how that goes. Trying not to stress too much. Took 4 cycles to conceive Eleanor, so I figure I shouldn’t let myself get worked up about it until it’s been at least that again. But of course that’s much easier in theory than in practice.

On that note, I made a new blinkie and put it on the graphics page. Hope you all enjoy. : )

I was pretty upset when she first weaned, but now it’s just the norm.  I am thoroughly enjoying my cheese and yogurt again, haha!  Man, I missed cheese.  We haven’t tried giving her any dairy straight yet, I’m thinking sometime after her second birthday we will.  No reason to rush it.  I still wish she had continued nursing until she was at least two, but I know she stopped when she was ready.  I didn’t put any pressure on her to quit (at least not consciously – I never did quite enjoy it though, so perhaps that came across to her) and kept trying to get her back on the breast, so I try to focus on that.  Next time around I hope the whole process of breastfeeding will be easier!

Christmas was good: we got her the Melissa and Doug kitchen and she absolutely loves it!  Family supplied her with play food and cookware, though she still needs a few odds and ends.  That was definitely one of our best toy purchases ever.  It wasn’t all that difficult to put together, either.  Just took some time, but we put on a movie and made an afternoon of it.

Some time in January I finally took her in for the MMR vacc.  I had wanted to do the individual shots but they haven’t been available.  So I finally bit the bullet and just got her the normal vacc.  I was worried – three live viruses at once is a lot for a little body to take – but I was starting to get antsy about her not being immunized, too.  Blame the microbiologist in me.  : )  She didn’t react too badly – just a little fussiness for a few days.  She’s been sick since, but we all have so I think that’s just coincidental. She’s actually been less sick than we have so I guess she has a pretty steady immune system in place now.

Nothing else new here, hence the slow posting lately.  Things were so chaotic the first year of her life but this year has been much calmer, largely in a good way.  She’s talking like crazy, even forming several word sentences, is more self-sufficient, and is developing such a personality.  I spend more time talking to her than about her now!  I’ve always loved this age and it’s even more wonderful experiencing it as a parent.  Though she does try our patience at times (sometimes for multiple days in a row, nonstop) overall we’re really enjoying this stage of her development.

It is definitely bittersweet, though: she is not a baby anymore and needs me less and less every day.  I miss my tiny babe, though I pretty clearly remember how hard those days were, too.  I have never wanted to relive a period of my life – I’ve just never enjoyed looking backwards like that, even to days or times that were truly happy.  For the first time ever I find myself wishing I could relive certain periods with her.  I suppose I should just cherish those memories and focus on building new ones every day, right?

Eleanor is growing and growing and growing. She’s getting huge. Even her dinky little feet aren’t so dinky anymore. : ( She’s also learning new words at an amazing rate, and strings two or even three together pretty regularly. Usually it’s just something simple along the lines of “more please” (or “mow pea”). Too cute!

She’s become obsessed with spoons and other kitchen implements, so we’ve decided to get her a play kitchen for Christmas. In the meantime I gave her one of my old pots and a couple wooden spoons to play with, and she has a grand time! She’ll also walk around the house with a “purse” over her arm (really the little box with a handle that came with her sorting blocks), saying bye-bye to you.

It’s not all fun and games though, of course. She’s also becoming more bossy and physical when upset. Out of nowhere she started biting. She doesn’t do it often, but still. We have no idea where she picked it up! None of the other kids she sees on a regular basis has done something like that around her, and she didn’t see it on TV that I know of. It’s odd.

She’s still nursing, but is down to just once a day. I’m really worried she’s going to decide to wean herself before the cold and flu season is over, and that makes me nervous. I had finally wrapped my head around nursing her to 2-2.5 years just a few months ago, only to find out she may not want to nurse that long! It’s such an odd concept that she could so easily negate something that I decided for her benefit. I suppose this is the first in a long line of decisions that will be taken away from me, as she gets older. It’s pretty bittersweet.

She was slow to start talking too, so I kind of expected her to end up being more of a physical toddler, but lately she’s really been focusing on language.  She’s been picking up a new word a day it seems.  It’s becoming much easier to figure out what she wants, since at least half the time she can tell you now.

She has also learned what the potty seat is for.  She doesn’t yet get that she shouldn’t go pee in her pants anymore, but she definitely gets that that’s what she’s supposed to do when we set her on the seat.  We haven’t really been pushing it, but maybe in the next month or so I’ll try putting underwear on her.

And, finally, she’s sleeping through the night on a regular basis.  All of a sudden she just started sleeping from ~8pm-6am.  Woo-hoo!

She’s just growing and changing so much right now!  I really love this age, when they start being able to communicate and really interract with their worlds.  So much fun!

Then Eleanor had to get shots. Apparently there’s still a nationwide shortage of HIB, and since she’s already had the first three and is no longer an infant she isn’t high priority for it anymore. So she just got Pc (meningitis). I was hoping that would mean she’d have little if any reaction, but no: she has been one cranky baby the last few days! Ugh. Today she was more her normal self, so hopefully tomorrow she’ll be completely back to normal. Someone had told me before that the reactions get worse with each shot, so I guess I should have expected her fourth Pc shot to be bad. She’s always reacted a bit to that one, though I never knew for sure if it was the Pc or HIB shot. Guess I do now!

Other than that, life’s going well. Enjoying the crazy warm weather here lately. It’s been over 20 days without rain, which in Seattle is unheard of in June. My grass isn’t happy about it, though. Our home improvement project still isn’t done since it seems like something keeps coming up every single weekend. My brother just graduated from high school (woo-hoo!), my SIL/BIL needed help moving, my MIL did something funky to her knee and can’t walk much so we’ve been down at her place helping out a bunch, etc. etc. It’s nice having things to do I suppose, and I like spending time with family, but I’m really hoping we can finish this project soon.

OK, time to watch Burn Notice!

It actually ended up being a pleasant afternoon, though!  The neighbor was really sweet and seemed to get a kick out of Eleanor.  I also got the lowdown on who lives where, and why a certain house has been basically abandoned, so that was interesting.  I’m glad I met her, though I wish it had been under different circumstances…