Day with the family

We went down to see John’s mom today, and John and the other two kids (well, mid-20s adults), scattered Jim’s ashes finally.  The weather hadn’t been cooperating with a boat launch, but today was beautiful and calm.  The scattering went well.  The rest of us watched from the house, with a motley assortment of binoculars.  It was a little surreal for everyone, I think.  An important day, but not as sad as it would have been a month or so ago.  I hope it provided some closure for John’s mom and grandmother, and for the kids as well.   I have a feeling the tougher parts of this year will be the holidays.  Other than the scattering, it felt much like any other family gathering.  It’s odd how quickly life seems to become normal again, even if the normal isn’t what it was.

Eleanor warmed up to everyone right away this time, so her memory of people seems to be improving.  She hadn’t seen most of them in at least a month.  I keep hoping to hear a wedding and/or baby announcement every time I see them all, but I think it’ll be a while.  : )  We might just have to provide a playmate for Eleanor ourselves!

With all the budget cuts lately, my SIL the teacher may be losing her job.  Her husband is completing his master’s in teaching right now and would have gone on to teach next year, but it looks like he’s going to have to sub until the economy – and school budgets – improve.  My friend, also a new teacher, finds out next month if she loses her job.  I know all of these people will be ok financially should they lose their jobs (between subbing and/or their spouse’s jobs), but I worry about the other families who won’t.  This economy is just awful.  I hope it improves soon.  Fortunately it hasn’t hurt us yet, other than John’s work not giving out the usual cost-of-living and merit-based raises this year.  Tough to complain about a lack of a raise when you know people who are being laid off or having their pay cut.

And my last piece of news: Eleanor got her first head wound today.  : (  She fell down while walking toward a table and, you guessed it, bonked her face and gave herself a fat lip.  She even bled a little, though that stopped quickly.  We have her some ibuprofen to try to stem any swelling, and some soy ice cream ostensibly to get something cold on it.  (I tried an ice cube inside a towel, but she wouldn’t hold still for it.)  She loved the ice cream and calmed right down, haha!  I’ve been trying not to start a food as comfort habit, but I think this was a good exception.  She nursed well after that and took her pacifier to go to bed, so it must not be bugging her too much anymore.

Happy Birthday Baby!

Eleanor turned one year old yesterday!  We had a party for her on Saturday with about ten people, mostly family.  It was a good party and she got tons of new toys and clothes!  She spent all day yesterday playing with her new push toy (from mommy and daddy).  She loves to walk around behind it.  She is so close to taking her first step on her own, but isn’t there quite yet.  Hopefully soon!  For now she moves much more quickly crawling so she doesn’t have much incentive to walk.

She’s now saying dada and versions of mom (mama, ma, nen, even Jenn recently), as well as “hi” and “up”.  Her little voice is so sweet!  She learned those last two in just the last week or so, so she seems to be learning quickly now.  I’m looking forward to hearing the next word!

She doesn’t have another appt until the end of the month, so I weighed her (on our Wii Fit, haha) and measured her myself.  She’s now about 18.5 lbs (13%) and 29″ tall (59%).  So she’s still  skinny, but not as much as before (she was 16% weight and 87% height at 9mo).  We’ve been feeding her a ton but I guess she might need even more.  Yikes!

We gave her soy milk for the first time the other day and she loved it.  I’m hoping to swap out a couple nursing sessions a day for it, but so far she seems to be treating it as more of a supplement than a meal.  Now that I know her stats, maybe that’s a good thing.  I’m planning on continuing to breastfeed for the foreseeable future, hopefully until she’s about two, which is the WHO recommendation.  We’ll see how it goes.

She popped her first molar on the 12th, which brings her grand total up to nine teeth!  Her sleeping is still all over the board, largely from the constant teething.  Though apparently I was a horrible sleeper as a baby too, so it could just be that.  I am so thankful that I’m able to stay home with her!  Besides the fact that I love being here with her, I would be a zombie at work most days.

I can’t believe my baby is one, but I also look at her and see a one year old.  This year just went too fast.  I hope the next one is a little slower, and I can’t wait to see what it brings!

Very sick father in-law

My FIL has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  It’s inoperable and spread to a few vital organs already, putting him at stage IVb.

He was diagnosed on Tuesday and told he had maybe a year.  Everyone was shocked, obviously.  That’s how this cancer appears to be for almost everyone: swift and cruel.  We went down to see him and my MIL on Wednesday and other than being in pain and understandably more impatient than usual, he was his normal self.  It was a good visit.  On Friday they spoke to the oncologist who told them he probably only had a few months, which was more in line with what we had been reading.  It could even be weeks.

On Saturday we were supposed to go see him in the early afternoon but they had visitors left and right, so we postponed for a few hours.  My MIL ended up taking him to urgent care (after calling hospice) in the early evening, because he was acting very out of it and having vision problems.  They gave him half a bag of fluids and did a CT scan, where they found two lesions on his brain in the area that controls the optic nerve.  We’re pretty sure he had a stroke.  By the time we saw him he could barely remember who Eleanor, my SIL’s husband, or I were, had almost no memory of the last month or so, and he seemed to be under the impression that he was recovering from an illness.

This latest turn has been incredibly hard on the family.  Everyone expected him to be lucid for the duration, so in some ways it feels like we’ve already lost him.  Having to explain to him over and over why he’s in pain, and telling him that he just saw so-and-so yesterday, etc. has been heartbreaking.  On the other hand I have to believe that it’s easier for him, not knowing that he’s about to die.  He and my MIL had everything well-prepared, so it’s not like he needed to do any last minute things.  Maybe it’s better this way.

If you have a thought to spare send one to his family, especially his wife.  There’s nothing we can do for him now, except make him more comfortable and keep him as happy as possible.  That task is taking a huge toll on all of the family, but most especially his primary care-giver.  I don’t know how she does it.